Asking your unique question in life and receiving your unique answer alters your life.
There exists a simple awareness from childhood to senior citizen of wonderment. The influence of my wheelchair bound "Little Grandma" who lived much of here life in the County Hospital living with the results of a severe stroke, almost completely speechless, seem to encourage wonderment in me.
Little Grandma was Catholic, the spiritual kind, were she carried with her the ancient's nativistic simple practices written out of history by the church. She carried her Rosary beads. I can remember them sometimes wrapped around her paralyzed nub of her right hand.
She was European. She read tea leaves and told fortunes but could barely communicate after her stroke. Her body was paralyzed on the right side as I recall. She seem to always have kindness, love, compassion no matter what. This attitude of appreciation and love somehow was magical on me as a child of 5 when we visited her on the hospital grounds each weekend. She lived a life of constant rehabilitation and through it all seemed grateful.
Medically her right side paralysis probably meant a left hemisphere brain aneurism, rendering her logical, reasoning, ego controlling side degraded and releasing her creative, emotional, feeling, intuitive side to dominate. Perhaps this was a gift her spirit needed.
This image of Little Grandma had an impact on me that somehow translates into constant rehabilitation of myself in my senior years.
There is always a need for faith. There are limits in each level of awareness that push back the veil further and further until a new limitation is encountered. But, at some level of the constant rehabilitation of self, the perception of God shifts into the realization God is within us, the loss of fear, the onset of compassion, the extension of forgiveness, the seeking of help to co-create without fear, all serve to create a new universe of understanding. The awareness of a connection of all things begins to manifest in one's life.
One eventually realizes that the boundary of understanding, the veil, through constant scientific and spiritual learning, has been moved and expanded incrementally so many times that one's universe has expanded yet again. God and self are not separate in the expanded universe. One day you wake up and ask yourself to make a choice over what everything really means and to answer life's prime question: What is life's purpose and what is it you really want? My answers to those entangled questions became: "Truth. I want to know truth."
The moment my answer was formulated I could feel an energy shift. Within a few years, one day as I walked across my bedroom I experienced a soul modification... a process usually completed during our sleeping hours was completed on me during waking hours...to make a point. The message is "you have been tweaked; now continue on humbly and with daily gratitude for all things."
I seem to enter into a new universe where everything is one. God is inside each of us and when we choose, helps us to co-create. Forgiveness, love, compassion, even tiny patches of grace are resident within us and comprise the new mosaic with the boundaries of our new, expanded universe. Christ becomes a counseling companion, loved as a brother, at his own request. Fear is released and the soul, freed.